Ready to Come Out the Broom Closet? Be Your TRUE Witchy Self
I spent most of my life in fear of being my true self. Hiding my beliefs and practices from the people around me was a common occurrence. What would they say if they knew I practiced witchcraft? Would they disown me? Could I lose my family? My job? It seems silly now, but that fear nearly drowned me from the inside out. Are you scared to be your true witchy self? I don’t blame you. But in this article, I share my coming-out-of-the-broom-closet journey with you, in hopes it will inspire you to live your truth and one day be your authentic self.
Growing Up Christian
I grew up in a place where everyone was evangelical Christian. And they not only frown on witchcraft, they condemn it…along with any belief system outside of their own. But witchcraft? That was the worst of all – it was full of devil-worshipers and people who were being deceived by the “enemy”. I was an inquisitive child. I asked a lot of questions, most of which I was never given a logical answer.
Why did God allow murder in the world if he’s all-knowing? Why did God create Satan if he knows the future? Why would God allow us to sin and condemn us to an eternity of damnation? If I’m saved but I die with sin in my heart, do I go to Hell or Heaven? Why does God allow innocent children to die horrible deaths?
All questions I have asked an elder. Most of the time given vague answers like, “God works in mysterious ways.” Now, let me be clear, I’m in no way trying to bash Christians or their religion. It is what it is and I am not here to change anyone’s minds or convert anyone to witchcraft. But, I will say this, the constraints and demands put on a child like me to be sin-less and righteous naturally pushed me in the opposite direction. Yet in that rebellion, I found a place that felt comfortable, warm and peaceful. I found paganism and witchcraft. I could walk outside and be soothed by the moonlight or inspired by a butterfly. THAT to me was true spirituality. TRUE connection.
Do You Come From a Strict Religious Background?
I’ll bet anything you are here because you come from a strict religious background and are fearful your family will reject or persecute you. I lived thirty years of my life on that crappy boat. I was riding the waves of insecurity and hiding who I truly was, just like you are now. Then I turned thirty years old and hit the proverbial wall – I began wondering why I was living my life in fear. Why was I living to please everyone else around me and watching my true self slowly disintegrate? I was tired of not living my truth. How about you?
How to Come Out of the Broom Closet
I realize there are places in the world where witchcraft is still condemned and in some places women are still put to death for it. If you live in a place like that, by no means should you put yourself in a dangerous position. Survival is number one. BUT if you live in the United States or another first world or developed country, with religious rights, you have the ability to come out of the broom closet. What’s stopping you? Your fears?
1. Identify Your Fears
The first thing you need to do is identify what those fears are exactly. Take your time on this. Think about it for a few days, a week, even an entire month. When you’ve identified the root of your fears, write them down. For example, once I wrote down my fears of being rejected or judged by family members, I realized that if those people wanted to judge me for it, they could go right ahead! These were the same people who have judged me my entire life, whether I was doing good or bad, so what would be the difference?
2. Worst Case Scenario
After you’ve identified your fears and the root of your fears, think about the absolute WORST case scenario if you did come out of the broom closet. Would you lose your job? Your family members? Your boyfriend? While losing these things may seem frightening, ask yourself this – do you want these people in your life if they are so willing to judge and reject you for being your authentic self?
Let the Shitty People Go
I was so tired of living for everyone else that I was willing to sacrifice things if it meant living MY truth. If you’re to that point, you’re ready to come out of the broom closet. Don’t let shitty people hold you back. Because the people who TRULY love you will love you no matter what your beliefs are. They may even love you more for being your true self!
3. Slowly Step Out of the Broom Closet
When you decide to live your true witchy life and speak your truth, you don’t have to start by screaming it from the rooftops. You don’t even have to discuss it with people who aren’t in your immediate surroundings. Should you discuss it with your husband or significant other? Yes! This is someone who needs to know what you believe and what your truth is. Do you have to tell your boss or grandmother? NO. Your boss is your boss, they don’t have to know a damn thing about your personal life. And grandma? She is probably from the old school and might keel over from a stroke just hearing the word “witch”. Feel me?
4. What if my significant other rejects my true self?
First, choose a good time to speak to your significant other about your true beliefs and your spiritual side. Maybe you’ve been hiding this part of yourself for many years and feel stifled. You need to open up and be honest with your partner about these things. It may hurt them…it may anger them. But they deserve to know the REAL you. If they are a strict religious individual, maybe using the term “pagan” and “nature-based spirituality” is a softer approach than popping on a pointy hat and boasting about your witchy rituals right off the bat.
IMPORTANT on Breaking the News to Your Partner
Here’s what you need to do: be open to answer their questions honestly. Point them to credible resources if they truly want to understand what a “pagan” is. Also, don’t expect them to be accepting of it immediately, but do expect them to be respectful of you and your decision to share this side of yourself. DO NOT allow them to cut you down or make you feel like you’re wrong or evil. This is not a loving relationship, and if you can’t be your true self with your partner, it’s time to move on. My truth was this – my partner would accept me for who I was, and if he didn’t, I decided I’d rather be alone to be free to be my authentic self.
Extra (tried and true) tips while going through this transformation process: be patient with yourself and others, cleanse yourself regularly with the elements, seek solace and healing in Mother Nature, take it one step at a time!
5. Be Discreet But Willing to Share
So you’ve come out the broom closet to your closest loved ones and friends, but what about the rest of the world? The choice is yours. The way I handle it is that I don’t hide who I am but I am also somewhat discreet about it. For example, if you are a friend of mine on social media, you’re going to figure out my beliefs. But if I’m in the grocery store, the only way you might know is if you’re a witch yourself and notice my crystal pendant or moon tattoo. I don’t typically discuss religion with anyone who doesn’t ask for my opinion first. But then I’m always willing to share. Remember – witches don’t proselytize (preach/convert). So even though your Christian family might talk about Jesus and the Bible openly and constantly, that doesn’t mean you have to be the same way with your beliefs.
Lastly, Breathe and Be YOURself
I’m not going to lie to you, sometimes the coming out of the broom closet journey isn’t easy. Sometimes its downright painful. You may lose people you love and whom you thought loved you. But in reality, if you lose them, they were never true to you to begin with. They never truly loved you. And do you honestly want false people like that in your life, anyway? I sure don’t! So, when you’ve stepped out of your hiding place, step out with pride and just remember to breathe. Be yourself no matter what. And, you might find that you’ll begin to attract others of like mind, OR your family members and friends may be a little witchy themselves!
Be Free, Be Your Witchy Self!
Once you come out of the broom closet, I promise you won’t want to go back in! I’ve met some amazing people since coming out of the broom closet, and I’ve also had close family and friends commend me for being myself! You may have times when someone says something and doubt creeps in, but don’t let that scare you back into your old hiding place! Stand in your truth. Be who you are. Live your witchy life without compromise. You will feel liberated and as light as air!