Generational Curses: How to Stop A Generational Family Curse
Have you heard of generational curses? Are you worried your family might be affected by one? Here’s the full rundown on this type of “curse” and how to effectively stop a generational family curse in modern times. And yes, they are real.
What Are Generational Curses?
When I first heard the term generational curses, I was skeptical. Then again, I’m skeptical when it comes to curses in general. Most people who believe they are cursed aren’t truly cursed by someone else, they’ve cursed themselves by making bad decisions. And therein lies the question: are generational curses a result of dark magic put on a family OR does someone in the family make a bad decision that begins the curse cycle? It’s most often (99.9% of the time), the latter.
The Christian Definition: Sins of the Father
What is a generational curse, exactly? There are different definitions depending on the person and the religion. Christians will tell you it’s because of a person in the family rebelling against God. Some sources claim the curse began with the first man who rebelled against God – Adam. I don’t believe in sin or original sin, so I don’t subscribe to this belief. By blaming Adam, we are putting the blame on someone else and excusing ourselves for our own problems.
My Modern Definition
I am a modern pagan, and I believe in generational curses. But I don’t believe in sin. Generational curses, in my opinion and experience, are bad decisions made by an ancestor that influences their descendants in various ways. What happens is a parent influences the child in a negative way, and that child continues the parent’s bad behaviors. And the cycle perpetuates itself generation after generation. Ultimately, the responsibility to end the “generational curse” lies with us. If we don’t end it, we often feed into it and the cycle continues.
What are some examples of generational curses?
Generational curses can be any negative cycle a family traps themselves in, including: alcoholism, drug addictions, gambling, poverty mindsets, marital affairs, divorces, abuse, and many more. Most people can identify at least one of these generational curses on one or both sides of their family lines. I know I can!
The Beginning of a Generational Curse
How do these generational curses develop in our families? It’s simple, really. Let’s say your great great great grandfather fought in a war and saw terrible things happen in his lifetime. This had a negative effect on his mental state and he began self medicating with alcohol. His son and daughter dealt with his alcoholism growing up. One said she would never drink like her father, but the other became depressed and began drinking too. And the cycle continues with his daughter, and on and on, down to you.
Sometimes these generational patterns are so rooted in our bloodlines that we don’t know when they began or who started them. But inevitably, who started the curse doesn’t really matter. What matters is what decisions you make, and whether you will break the generational curse or perpetuate it. When you break a negative family pattern, you not only heal yourself but you help heal the bloodline (past, present and future).
How to Stop a Generational Family Curse in 4 Crucial Steps
If you want to learn how to stop a generational family curse, you’re going to have some work cut out for you. It’s going to be difficult and take time and energy. You won’t heal generations of pain and negativity in one night. The sooner you accept that, the better. It’s a long, hard path, but one that is necessary.
1. Identify the Generational Curse(s)
You might think you know the generational curse on your family immediately, but I recommend taking your time with this step. Take a week, a month or even a few months to reflect on your family’s negative patterns. For me, I found a few that needed to be addressed. Some may be obvious, for instance a pattern of alcoholism, while others are hiding in plain sight (poverty mindset, emotional abuse, etc.)
2. Evaluate Your Decisions and Lifestyle
This is probably the hardest part of the process – self reflection. Let’s face it, no one wants to identify our own bad life choices. Most people go through life completely oblivious to their own bad decisions. These are the same people who blame everyone else for their problems. When, in reality, they are the only ones to blame. Self reflection isn’t going to feel good. But it’s necessary to stop a generational family curse, heal yourself, and heal the bloodline. The healing begins with you.
3. Make a Plan and Execute
Once you’ve identified your family’s generational curses, and acknowledged if you’ve perpetuated them, it’s time to make a plan to break the cycle(s). Are you a smoker? Stuck in the mindset of being poor? Whatever it is, now’s the time to fix it. Stop smoking. Stop believing your poor and there’s no way to be successful. Take the necessary steps to improve your life and break the generational curse.
4. Ancestral Healing
When you take responsibility for your own life decisions, you break the generational family curse. You begin the healing process. Not only for yourself, but for future generations AND the past. Our ancestors are on the other side, always watching and guiding us. When we break negative family cycles, our ancestors are honored and healed as well. You are essentially mending a rip in your family’s tapestry. Re-growing broken branches on your family’s tree.
In addition, I recommend working with your ancestors as a spiritual practice. When you connect with your ancestors on the other side, something magical happens. You open a door for their blessings to come through. Healing continues the more you get to know your ancestors. Sometimes it’s painful, but the work is necessary. If you’re here reading this article, it means you’ve been called to do this work. To heal your bloodline. To break your family’s negative cycles. It starts and ends with you.
AnonymousMarch 11, 2022 at 10:19 am
Is mental illness a generational curse?
kitty fieldsApril 4, 2022 at 7:50 pm
Mental illness is an imbalance in the brain. There’s scientific explanation. Might it be genetic and passed down through DNA? Yes. But I don’t believe a habit, necessarily. Then again, it depends on what it is. Alcoholism is an illness but may be perpetuated in families because of nature AND nurture. I hope this makes sense.
Determining Your Future | Truth & WisdomJuly 3, 2021 at 11:17 pm
[…] If you make these changes in your life but you still don’t see a change or see very little change, then most likely it’s a generational curse. […]
MimiApril 30, 2021 at 12:45 am
The longer I sit with it, the longer I think our curse is mother-daughter disconnect and hatred on both sides of my family. Its seems to arise after puberty and reach full manifestation in the early to late teens. As the women try to make moves and changes for their betterment and on their own behalf, intense fights ensue and result in extreme relationship damage. Looking at my lineage, both of my grandmothers were met with extreme resistance and semi-disownment over a multitude of choices they made. I have taken steps in my life to work on repairing my relationship with my mom, as hard and frustrating as it is. As I am seeing the full manifestation of this curse on my family at the moment between my grandmother and aunt, it is clear how important it is that I don’t let this hatred go another generation.
HeatherMay 27, 2021 at 2:45 pm
That’s so crazy… because my mother is called mimi by my children and this sounds like the same problem that I’m currently realizing is an issue in my family… and really what even brought me here to reading about this article. I have teenage girls of my own now… and I’m realizing this is definitely something that seems to have a definite pattern. Me and my mother had the same issue. And now I’m experiencing it for myself with my girls. It’s very sad to realize I’m having to play the role of the clinically Insane mother. I don’t like it.
AnonymousJanuary 17, 2023 at 10:37 pm
I am going threw this very thing.
JohnDecember 17, 2020 at 9:41 am
My great grandfather made a pact said to effect 3 generations. I drive otr. Knowing they eventually lived in colorado. I was going to Pueblo and as I went thru arlington I thought what a booming metropolis moments later my headlight cut off. Late learned my grandfather’s ashes were spread there. His youngest sister passed at a young 24 and is in the cemetery. My first pass thru was in 07 . A couple months ago I visited her grave and on the walk out I found a hawk feather held in place with a piece of tumbleweed and another by a gopher hole when I arrived back home in Michigan I looked at the old family photo and the next morning went out to feed the horse and found another one stuck in the door seam of an old truck. My tarot says I have a family member protecting me from the curse and I’m ok with thatjohn
Laura MarieOctober 29, 2020 at 12:58 am
Awesome read, I was wanting to ask about this topic.
IsaSeptember 5, 2020 at 9:52 pm
Can a person outside someone’s bloodline help heal that of another? For example, abuse is deeply imbedded in my daughter-in-law’s bloodline, can I help with healing that?
StefanyAugust 1, 2020 at 7:36 pm
I believe codependency is a my family’s generational curse. I never thought of it in this context before but I fam now changing my perspective on this. This is an issue that has been handed down from as far back as my great grandmother as far as I know but I believe it’s roots are even deeper. I feel the responsibility to change this for myself, heal my ancestors and provide a happier life for the future generations of my family 💗
BREONNA TAYLORDecember 24, 2020 at 7:10 pm
Standing up for ones self, making a list to separate and prioritize what is most important to you.